It's Monday morning and I don't feel good.
The wife's not treating me like she should.
The kids are grumblin' about their food,
and Edie says there's no money left.
I give her my card, which I don't like to do,
'cos I know she'll spend when she gets to the shops,
and we're thin this month so we don't need that.
I get in my car and drive to work,
but the traffic's bad, and I'm gonna be late.
I'll miss my call and my boss'll be mad,
we've a deadline to meet that's turnin' bad.
I get into work and grab a coffee,
then try to hide myself in the office.
Try to tune my head to something solid.
The mornin' drags by and its nearly lunch.
The girls walk by, they're happy chattin'.
We're goin' to the pub Mr Teale, you comin'?
What the hell I think, I may as well.
This afternoon's gonna be like hell.
Young Silvie says she'll give me a ride
on the back of her scooter that she calls Mike.
I ride to the pub with the pretty girl
She smells pretty good and doesn't seem shy.
I get me a pint and a chicken pie,
and the world seems better by and by.
I chat with the girls 'bout this and that.
Wendy says that Silvie fancies me.
Silvie smiles and blushes and so do I.
We ride back to work, arms round her waist,
my legs spread wide and her between.
Just watch it man she's far too young,
could be your daughter or dating your son.
Whatever I say I enjoy the ride,
I say thank you Silvie, that was fun,
then get down to work - seems easy now.
Before I know it's six o'clock,
the girls are half way down the block.
As I watch them go Silvie turns and waves.
My stomach flip-flops - very strange.
I drive t'ward home and stop at the local.
My friend John's there and pretty vocal.
What a shit day Monday is he says.
I smile and buy him another beer.
But mine was good I realize,
which given its start, was a surprise.
I get home late, and E's been spendin,
but I kiss her lips and make no fuss.
Tomorrow will be another day.
We'll see what comes or goes that way.
She cooks me supper - the kids are out.
She's happy now and I feel horny.
We make love like she's someone else,
surprising her with my urgent need.
Man it was good and now I'm sleepy,
she'll watch TV and catch me later.
I've no idea when she came to bed.
Tuesday morning the boss is happy,
we got new work and it's down to me.
You'll work all hours that god will send
and if it comes off you'll be ok.
Silvie asks what I'm doin' for lunch.
No lunch today love - lot to do,
be here today till after seven.
Leaving that night she's still around.
I worked late, you can by me a drink.
She parks her Mike around the back,
then we drive in my car to a pub she knows.
It's after work so she has a drink.
Now normally I just drink my beer,
but I join her now in something stronger.
She tells me she's down cos her boyfriend split,
but really he was a bit of a shit.
She thinks she may be better off,
but it's been some time so she's kind of sad.
A couple of drinks and we both feel better,
but it's time to go or we'll be missed,
so we pay our bill and move for home.
She lives a little out of town,
and as we drive toward her home,
she turns me down a country lane.
I enjoyed our time today she says,
and before I know she's split my zip,
goes down on me, mouth hot and wet.
In a moment, it's over and we go on home.
By now I've seriously got the bug.
Going to work's a joy, and 'working late'.
Edie's still got the card so she's happy too,
and the credit card company's havin' a ball.
Silvie's there for me every day.
Our sex life's getting really mad,
we're doing it anywhere we can.
We lunch together when there's time.
But a woman at work is a friend of E's
and she doesn't think much of what she sees.
Edie catches us one day at the pub.
There's a rotten scene and Silvie cries.
I flounder - there's nothing I can say,
caught fair and square with my trousers down.
Oh rock of ages cleft for me,
I could do to hide myself in thee.
And now I have to make a choice,
my wife and kids or the girl who's life.
Every day is now a challenge.
I can't do a thing that suits them both.
My fleeting joy an old sick joke.